February 2009
ESPN Breaking News: Arod to sue if you boo
Late this afternoon Alex Rodriguez announced that he will sue:
1. anyone who boos him without also shouting out, “my name is …. & I live at …” immediately after booing.
2. anyone who yells derogatory comments from the stands without also shouting out, “my name is …. & I live at …”
3. anyone who holds up a sign making a negative statement...
“Dear ESPN Insider,
Congratulations! You are confirmed for the exclusive ESPN...”
– I’m on fire with the luck lately! Combine this with my scratch ticket winnings earlier this week and it has to mean that I have a third lucky win coming my way. Although somehow I feel like I am one of only 18 people who got this same email from ESPN today letting me know that I am eligible to...
Obama wants to make just one thing very clear to...
Spend more time with your kids so that they don’t receive pics from certain pervs on Tumblr and end up in the third square of a Ragetoon. FFFFFFUUUUU
I enjoy these speeches for one reason & one reason...
It’s because all these fat cats just had a big dinner and the looks on their faces make it look all too obvious that they are desperately holding in some serious gas. That’s why they relish the chance for a standing ovation and some loud cheers. Time to squeak a quick one out. No shame in it folks, we’ve all been there after a big steak dinner and a few vodka tonics.
Scratch tickets are so tacky & such a fuckin'...
Until, like this guy, you win $5,000 on one of ‘em this morning!! First purchase will be a new pair of pants unfortunately. Oh, like you would have been all calm & shit.
Plans for next 10 days: the Pros & Cons edition
Pros:
Trip to see the Family and friends in FLA begins on
Wed. That should guarantee the North East at least 3-4 days of
mild weather as that’s been the case every other trip I’ve made
down South during this now 8
month long Winter.
Spring Training. This will fall
into the cons area soon enough but for now it makes me happy.
Green grass, crack of the bat,
and scouting...
There are certain people who are not meant to fit...
(via overflowing)
I hope Mickey Rourke realizes just how lucky he is...
(via soupsoup)
Really? Explain.
The Oscar for the most pretentious person in a...
Bill Maher
Get your Tonys out of my Oscars.
(via soupsoup)\
…and while you’re at it get your Oscars out of my Tumblr.
Actual exchange as recorded by a court reporter...
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Geez people, all you have to do is hit 'hide' and...
(via butterflyeffects)
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. You can’t just go and share an easy solution like that! First of all this community thrives on complaining about ourselves. It’s like a basic right. Second you just robbed me of a chance to whine all day about this development & then discover hours later that I can in fact hide it, realizing once again that I have the Internet skills of a...
When's the banner going up across the top of...
Ignorance is bliss
To the tumblr, colleenisterrific, who earlier posted: People who do drugs absolutely disgust me. You’re so insanely ignorant that it’s ridiculous. Here is what I had prepared to reblog before you deleted your post. (I went to waaaaaay too much trouble writing it to only get the “we can’t find the post you’re looking for” message when I hit the create post button. Stick to...
“Marketing 101: How can I increase traffic, visibility and name recognition on my...”
– All a publicity play? brilliant.
TG Daily - What Facebook and Tumblr don’t want you to know
(via adamiss)
I don’t believe it, but if it is true, well played tumblr.
(via soupsoup)
Agreed. Over the course of time I’m certain many positive, as well as profitable, business moves have...
Request for the New York Mets beat writers
Can you guys write something that will inspire Jerry Manuel to proclaim himself, or someone else on the Mets, “gangsta”?? The Mets need some backpage coverage quick because I really can’t take much more of:
A. Arod and all his phoniness
B. Derek Jeter pretending he likes Arod even slightly as a
teammate, peer, or even a human being for that matter
C. Joe Girardi insistimg in...
I should clarify my Audio post comment
What I meant when I said, ”all the censorship talk that’s getting old”, is that it’s the “talk” part that seems to be getting repetitive. Where’s the action? Maybe I’ve missed it but has anyone written about actually doing something about a decision most seem to disagree with, rather than just reblogging the same theory over & over? What I mean...
Listen
The Joe Rogan: An open letter to Kellogg’s re:... →
poortaste:optimisto:
Praise God
Good stuff which leads me to think of another question. When is someone going to ask the companies that have Alex Rodriguez as a spokesman/endorser if they plan to drop him, like Kelloggs did with Phelps? Considering that he confessed during his press conference yesterday to have, at the very least, conspired with his cousin to participate in the trafficking of...
Who the fuck is Julia Allison?
(via thephenthouse)
She is featured in this picture with Mary Rambin at Fashion Week.
Disclaimer of Satire
The opinions expressed on this blog are those of my Internet persona, Winston Wolfe. They are done in the spirit of satire and in no way represent how I personally feel. My true personal opinions will always be hidden under the veil of an anonymous blog that I have, for some time now, called topherchris. I both understand & respect if Tumblr deems my Audio Post as unacceptable under the TOS...
Listen
Memo to the person at Tumblr who developed the...
Really nice job. Like we haven’t had that little thing called voicemail in our lives for fuckin’ years & years now.
thephenthouse:
The Rolling Stones - Sympathy For...
Four Things
skeetonmischa:
I forgot what the third point was, but go Lakers! Despite the fact that your job is safe, Lamar Odom doesn’t mean you have to stop cleaning the boards and glass like one of those high tech vaccums that English guy pitches in the commercial.
I’d very much like to address this specific part of Doug’s post & tell him that it is highly likely that Lamar Odom will...
“My cousin would administer it to me. But neither of us knew what we were doing.”
– Alex Rodriguez, who expects us to believe that a man aged 24-26, who earns millions of dollars directly from his physical performance, had no idea exactly what he was taking(injected into his body no less) or even if it was working. He simply kept paying thousands of dollars to do it and allowed a...
Some further clarification is needed here
soupsoup:
staff:
Regarding questions we’ve received about five accounts that were suspended yesterday:
These accounts were suspended by our moderators, reflecting internal discussions about our community guidelines.
I’m sorry for not clarifying these changes earlier. But after serious consideration, we recently decided that accountswith the explicit purpose of reblogging content in a...
Over/under on amount of fabrications that will be...
I’ll put the line at 4. Basically Arod will say at LEAST four things that will prove in the future to be absolutely false.
This is serious folks: The Taliban is taking over... →
Gul Bibi and her three children fled the Taliban’s bloody interpretation of Islamic law in Pakistan’s Swat Valley, hoping one day to return.
But now that the Pakistani government has recognized Taliban rule in the region in exchange for a temporary cease-fire, she said those hopes have been dashed. She warned that the government’s deal with the Taliban will have worldwide...
The best health insurance for you.
jayparkinsonmd:
For the average person with no significant expensive chronic problems, the best insurance strategy for you is:
Purchase a high deductible health plan for $140 a month (ideally with an associated Health Savings Account (HSA))
Discontinue the traditional, expensive pre-paid health care plan we’re all used to (say this costs $600 a month ($7200 a year))
Put the cost difference...
